Post Mortem - Before the Fall

It was suggested that I write everything down that happened. I'm very mindful that my experience is probably different than that of the others who were there, which fascinates me; in my old life, it would've disturbed me greatly.

He was diagnosed just before Christmas. We had been worried about him for a couple years, honestly, between his weight loss and the general sense that he had been slowing down. When I went home for the holiday, we had a long talk about treatment options and whether he would undergo treatment at all. I must admit that his diagnosis gave me the sense that he wasn't going to make it out, but I thought maybe I was just reacting out of fear and wasn't thinking clearly ... I didn't tell him this, of course. By the time I left, the decision had been made that if his chances of survival were good, he would do the treatment; if he didn't have much of a shot, he would enjoy what he had left ... perhaps go to Florida and enjoy some golf.

The news came a couple weeks after Christmas -- his chances were 60% with treatment; not great, but not awful, either. He started treatment shortly thereafter; chemo weekly and radiation M-F.

I didn't take notes, but he ended up in the hospital for a couple days not long afterwards - pericarditis, which was painful and caused his breathing to be difficult. The road downhill had apparently begun.